Hello again

It's been awhile internet. My unscheduled hiatus is due primarily to the steps needed to ensure that I am graduated, credentialed, and ready to search for my new career in the field of nutrition and culinary arts. By the way, I'm now an alumni of Truckee Meadows Community College, a Dietetic Technician, Registered, and looking for work in nutrition or food service!

I went to see Godzilla with my brothers. It is a very good Godzilla movie, in that Godzilla is the most interesting part of the film. We all ended seeing the IMAX 3D version, which may be hazardous for people with vertigo or get nauseous at 3D films, but it is incredible to see that first panning shot of Godzilla climax with his head reaching into the auditorium to unleash his famous roar.

Otherwise I'm trying to rediscover what it is to suddenly have a lot more leisure time on my hands punctuated by a frantic job search, preferably in Washington, near Seattle.

Best wishes, and I hope to have better content for next time!

Post-holiday Lethargy

Thanksgiving turned out great this year, as all four of us kids chipped in to help. Thank the powers that be that I had the foresight to plan ahead and make bread and dessert the day before. We wrangled a 24lb bird for the dinner, which we slathered in herb butter. The gravy was thus very rich, oh yes. As part of my "make things simple" initiative, I also found recipes for slow cooker potatoes and a cranberry chutney. There was also a simplified recipe for a green vegetable with mushroom sauce casserole, roasted sweet potatoes and pears,  However, halfway through the day I experienced a bad episode of vertigo, so I was shoved into the conductor role from the couch as my two brothers and sister finished things. Here is a lovely pinterest menu.

School is wrapping up, it looks like I'll pass with good grades and thus be eligible for graduation from the Dietetic Technician program! What this will mean is that once the school processes my transcripts and classes, they will mark me as "graduated" and I will be able to take the credentialing exam to become a Dietetic Technician. With this national credential I can apply for a position anywhere in the U.S. of A!

Playing games: spent less than two days getting a 100% completion game for Psychonauts, including all the Steam achievements! So proud ^_^.
Other games I've played: Incredipede, Eets Munchies, and Fez. I'm also planning to replay Dust for more achievements, possibly Limbo, and then I think some quality time with Dungeon Defenders. I may bust out my consoles to play some Okamiden, or maybe Wind Waker...oh, I definitely want to reacquaint myself with Tomba, which my brothers got on PS3. It's still a touchy state of mind with trying to relax after so long letting my brain buzz with NEEDTOWORKWHATNEEDSTOBEDONE. I'll get twitchy in the morning, buzz around the house cleaning this and that before remembering to chill out, rest a bit, so as not to suffer another vertigo attack.

This season I seem to be in a better position to go to musical theater shows in town. I had the privilege to see my community colleges's fall musical, Rent with one of my good friends. This performance brought me to tears, as it usually does. The story of these friends throughout a year of struggling with relationships, art, and society in the 90s still resonates quite powerfully, I feel. In addition, as part of my birthday this year, my parents did an awesome thing and took me to The Addams Family Musical at one of the local theaters. This show is something to behold. While one may not think the Addams family is conducive to musical accompaniment, the show was amazingly well done. The plot for sure is much better than any of the film adaptations. There are snippets and amalgams of the Broadway performance on Youtube, if anyone is interested, and musical sites like Spotify have the soundtrack available for listening. Finally, I took my young niece to see the community college production of A Year With Frog and Toad. It was ADORABLE! Not only did the performing arts program make a great musical adaptation of the book series, but it did so in a way that was accessible for young children. The play was a series of short story performances, connected by the friendship of a frog and a toad (played by girls!).

Otherwise, I'm just trying to get back into creative output. I'd love to be making art again.

Just some venting

This story occurs one week ago:

 

I barely remember the drive home. My mind focuses on the tight grip of the steering wheel and I barely feel my limbs as I shut off the car and grab my bags before walking into the house. I give a mumbled greeting to my father as I wobble over to my room. I set my things down on the bed, turn around, and promptly kneel on the floor. As I fall onto my side, all I can think of is how nice it is to just rest for a bit on solid ground. 

Some minutes later, the voice in the back of my mind screeching to grab my cell phone out of my bag that’s fallen to the floor to call for help manages to pierce through the dizziness and numb feeling of my thoughts. I shuffle slowly, already feeling tears dripping down my cheeks as my body starts reacting to the stress of being unable to distinguish up from down. The world tilts, and my phone is in my hand. My skull feels too tight, there is a pounding pain in my sinuses, and I feel as though I'm stuffed with cotton balls. I’m distantly aware I need to move my fingers on the touch screen of the phone, but it’s all I can do is grip the device tight in my hand to assure my body that I’m not about to fall into an empty abyss and recite the mantra that the tilting sensation will pass. I lay down again and close my eyes, trying to keep breathing through the panic that’s beginning to overwhelm me.

That is the position my father finds me in some minutes later, and promptly screams for my mom and brother to come help him guide me through another episode of overwhelming vertigo. Eventually I become aware of my body again, and even manage to sit up with some assistance from my brother. Ben at least knows how to keep his wits about him even if he's freaking out over seeing one of my 'episodes.' I have to mix a dose of Head-B-Clear bath salt mix to clear my head of the congestion that aggravated my condition, as no one could read the recipe I typed out for the homemade bath product, or else they couldn't find it in the box of bath product ingredients, but that sort of thing happens a lot around here. Apparently I have the sort of mind that is difficult to predict.

It’s episodes like these that make me wonder if I’ll ever be able to have a normal career, though, or be able to live on my own. When I get a bad enough episode of vertigo thanks to Miniere's syndrome or something else that remains undiagnosed, I’m literally needing to be laid out flat, unable to focus on much besides inane media on the internet or flip through the tv channels. When I can’t even control my body or feel like I’m even ’present,’ I feel very down and hopeless for a long while afterwards. Heck, I've already run into difficulties in two different semesters because I wasn't able to even attend classes. I really don’t know much else to do except keep trying to move forward and wait for my body to become mine to control once more.